If our lives were a symphony, this part of our lives would be kind of chaotic and a little heavy. Maybe it is even the part before the orchestra starts and all the instruments are getting ready and playing to loosen up and get in tune. It sounds a bit overwhelming and chaotic but it is all forgotten once the first piece starts.
Right now, there are times when our lives feel a bit overwhelming and a little chaotic. Our summer was very full. Some of the things were really good: camps, activities, laughter, adventures, and trips. Others not so good: hospitals, cancer, hospice, sadness, questions, and death. There have been wonderful memories as well as not-so-wonderful memories. But as my mom used to say, “That’s life.”
Speaking of life, it keeps on rolling along. Peter is back in school and seems to be adjusting well to 5th grade. His medication seems to be doing what we hoped, that is, pausing the progression of the disease. We do not know how long the pause will hold, but we are thankful for it. We are working on helping him be more independent while also helping him understand that his actions, attitudes, and choices affect others. Jacob is exhibiting all the fun and not-so-fun things of being three. On the fun side, he plays hard, laughs hard, and can be quick at learning when it is something he wants to learn. On the not-so-fun side, he can be opinionated, stubborn, and a little (sometimes a lot) irrational. I have a picture I sent to Joe of Jacob red-faced angry, crying, along with the caption….reason 5,563 Jacob is angry at me today…I wiped his nose. I know, I know, he is three. I also know that this stage will pass; I am just hopeful it is not like a kidney stone. I mentioned to Joe the other night that right now, Jacob is more difficult to parent than Peter. We are hopeful that now that school is back in session and our routines have returned that things will even out some. He also starts preschool in September and is excited about that (so are we...but for slightly different reasons.)
When we look back on this time in a few years, it is likely that we won’t remember the chaos. We will remember the grief. Pictures will help us remember the events. Thankfully, the overwhelming feelings will fade from memory. Just like the tuning of the instruments before the concert is forgotten once the instruments are playing the concert. Until the chaos fades or until we are able to see around the chaos, we continue to try and choose joy and live life with grace and patience.
Whatever the chaos in your life, know there is a God who brings order to chaos and walks with you through the storms of life. A God who takes the noise of our lives and turns it into a beautiful symphony.
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