Full

Our hearts, our minds, and our lives are full.  The fullness is both good and bad.  Full in the good sense because we have had wonderful times with family and friends.  We have been able to make amazing memories.  Our calendars have been full of trips, celebrations, adventures, camps, activities, appointments, and meetings.  Our days have been full of laughter, of fun places, new adventures, joy, new activities.  Our to-do lists have been checked off ministry tasks, projects, adventures, fun, celebratory, normal every-day tasks and at times necessary unwanted items.    

Sometimes the fullness was the weight of everything, the unknown’s of the future, the un-predictableness of the disease and its effects on Peter and on us, the need for decisions and predictions.  Sometimes life just feels heavy.  Sometimes the fullness was emotions, so many emotions, sometimes good sometimes bad.  Big emotions, good or bad, are difficult to manage and even more when paired with a different routine or none at all mixed with new places.  Sometimes we are just full of tired.  Sometimes I have been full of anxiety other days Peter has been, thankfully usually Joe and Jacob are pretty chill (unless we are trying to get Jacob to nap…).  We strive and want to be full of joy and peace but that is not always the case.  

 

Even with all the unknowns we can be full of hope as we live in the moment.  We try to be present in each moment and chose to see the joy in situations.  There will always be things to be bitter about, or to be angry about or to be hurt by; but those emotions rob us of the ability to present in the moment.  There will also always be things to give thanks for, things to find joy in and moments of grace and peace.  It is all in what we look for, what we focus on, and what we dwell on and in.  

 

Don’t mishear me or put me on some pedestal, this is what I strive for, what I want to do, but not always where I am.   In fact, I am often feeling guilty for falling short of that goal.  Patience at times in short supply and frustrations rise and at times voices do to.   My prayer lately has been for grace to quickly forgive and forget and the ability to move on past the hard and big emotions or situation.   My prayer is also that I am quick to ask for forgiveness when I mess up, quick to calm down when emotions run high, to seek to understand more and not worry about being right.  

 

If you are still reading and are interested in what the fullness of the summer entailed here is a brief recap. 

Since the last blog we have done numerous tv and newspaper interviews sharing about Pete’s story and his book, Peter finished another soccer season and scored a goal, we had an IEP meeting, and Peter finished out his 2^nd grade year.   Summer started off with celebrating Joe’s birthday, then we headed off to Indianapolis for General Assembly.  There we saw countless wonderful friends and ministry partners.  Lots of hugs and laughs were exchanged.  After assembly we returned to Ohio and celebrated Peter’s birthday followed by his party that weekend.  Peter was able to visit Cedar Point through an organization called A Kid Again and has some new favorite rollercoasters.  Jacob turned 1 and we discovered he loves cake.  The month of celebration ended with Joe and I celebrating our 10 year anniversary.  

At the end of June we went to Pennsylvania for some time with Joe’s family.  It was wonderful to see both of his aunts, one uncle and 1 cousin in western PA.  On the other side of the state we spent several days with Joe’s sister, brother and his family and his parents.  It was wonderful to be together as a whole family.  After PA we traveled to Niagara Falls, NY and spent time with my side of the family and taking in the sites.  We returned early because Peter wasn’t feeling well but thankfully he recovered quickly and we will able to close out our vacation time with a trip to King’s Island.  The next week started with Peter’s 6 month checkup at Nationwide followed by a week of various different kinds of meetings and appointments.  The following week Peter participated in a day camp at the Ohio State School for the Blind.  It was a horticulture camp and he enjoyed it very much.  We were also  a part of the Loudonville community vbs.  And Family Camp/District assembly was that week as well.  Primary kids church camp started off the next week and Joe and Peter made some awesome memories together.  Then things started to slow down a bit and we focused on doing some of things we wanted to do but hadn’t had a chance yet because of the fullness of the summer.  

 

As you can see it has been full.  Sprinkled throughout the busyness there have been moments of laughter and joy and moments of being overwhelmed, of stress, and anxiety.  There have been highs and lows.  August should be a little calmer and we are preparing for a new school year on the 21^st.