Play The Hand You've Been Dealt

 Bloom where you are planted. 

Minister where you are at. 

Play the hand you’ve been dealt. 

 

These are all different versions of the sentiment Joe and I have lived by in our years of ministry and even in our lives before we were together.  

 

The mantra has served us well and has gotten us through some tough times but also through some exciting times.  It has gotten us through the ordinary, the extraordinary, the good and the bad and the moments that were a little bit of both.  

 

As I mentioned before we are living the little bit of both right now.  My growing belly and our countdown to July is so exciting (and also a bit scary).  We are looking forward to welcoming “peanut” into our lives.  Peter is looking forward to being a big brother and has even committed to helping change diapers.  

 

At the same time, we are getting into better routines with Peter and his visual impartment.  We recently completed his IEP (individualized education plan) and he will be receiving Braille and Orientation and Mobility training in school and also some during the summer.   He now has a white cane, Peter named “marshmallow” that helps him see and navigate the world.  He has an aid that helps him throughout the day and is his eyes at school.  She has been a real blessing to our family and to Peter.  

 

We are getting used to being his eyes and learning to describe things in a way that is most helpful to him.  We narrate what we are seeing or what we what want him to understand and “see” about what is happening around him.  We are also discovering some of the parenting benefits of having a kiddo who can’t see; like we can have conversations with gestures or hide things in plain sight and he doesn’t even know it.  

 

I won’t lie some days it is exhausting.  Sometimes I get frustrated with myself and my lack of patience, or impatient with trying to give step by step instructions for something that would require no description a few months ago.  Sometimes my heart breaks at the fact that my sweet first born son may never know what his little brother looks like.  We try hard not to make everything about his diminishing (well at this point diminished) vision.  He is still a 6 year old boy with big plans for his birthday coming up.  He still has big plans for his future.  For the most part we have been able to figure out how to do the things he wants to do.  It may look different, it may take longer, but we don’t want eyes that don’t function to define him.  

We have an appointment with a Retina Specialist May 12^th.  While we are hopeful that there will be an answer, a known diagnosis, we are also trying to keep our expectations in line.  We fully know we could go through the tests and leave with no more answers than we came with.  Either way the sun will set and rise again.  Peter will still love to tell jokes and have dance parties.

 

While my blogs lately have been centered around Peter and Peanut.  I am enjoying being a pastor in a way I didn’t think I would.  Sure, there are overwhelming and stressful days.  I am learning to juggle roles and responsibilities, sometimes all the balls are in the air no problem and other times all the balls are bouncing on the ground instead of gliding through the air.  That would be true no matter what ministry I was part of or job I had.  

 

Someone recently asked us if we missed South Africa and we do but we are also enjoying settling into our home, lives and community here.  God is good even if life doesn’t look like what we thought it would.  God is good even though the future is uncertain and sometimes filled with question marks.  God is good when my sweet boy’s eyes are filled with smiles and the sound of his laughter is in the air.  God is good when tears fill his eyes and frustration colors his words.  God is good when my rainbow baby moves in my womb and God is good when pregnancy insomnia keeps me up at night.  God is good, period.  And God helps us to bloom where we are, God helps us play with what we are dealt, and minister where we are; and for that we are grateful.  

 

Until next time:  Remember, when you are a boy mom sometimes you have to learn to just roll with conversations about and sounds of burps and farts and other bodily functions, because if you do you may just hear the sound of his giggle.